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Photo Budget

Mike Orr [sluggoster at gmail.com]


Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:44:21 -0800

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Hello Mike,
 
How are you? I hope everything has been well for you and Linux
Gazettein 2007. With the end of the year approaching I would like
Linux Gazette to consider spending a portion of your remaining budget
on stock photography from [SITE].
 
As you may already know [SITE] offers high quality royalty free images
for as little as $1.  It is the perfect solution for art directors,
graphic artists, and marketing professionals looking for creative
royalty free imagery to illustrate such things as magazine ads,
websites, billboards, flyers, and presentations.
 
Our images are collected from some of the top photographers and
artists around the world, actually over 60,000 of them. With this huge
collection of talent we have built an amazing database of 2.7 million
royalty free images covering all types of categories, subjects, and
themes.
 
Selling "High Quality" images at $1 might sound unbelievable, and
possibly illegal. But I assure you [SITE] does offer beautiful and
legal images at prices starting from $1. So check us out today! [SITE]
 
If you no longer wish to receive these emails, or you wish to update
your profile, please click here.
--- End forward ---

How did I get a profile when I've never been to [SITE]? But more importantly, this is a great idea! Let's spend LG's entire graphics budget and come up with a spiffy new look!!! Beautiful artwork from world-renowned artists would really increase our circulation. The LG accountant tells me our graphics budget is $0, which should just be enough.

-- 
Mike Orr <sluggoster@gmail.com>

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Samuel Bisbee-vonKaufmann [sbisbee at computervip.com]


Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:14:56 +0000

If we are going to go ahead with this, then we are going to do it the Right Way. I propose the following allocation of the budget (*hands out pie charts*):

Staff: 20% Marketing of new look: 40% New look (their prices are so good!): 30% Emergency/X-factor: 10%

It must be made clear that this cannot take away from the time of the editorial staff. Publishing quality content is of the most importance.

Scripts will need to be rewritten. Sorry coders, but there just isn't enough room in the budget; look at the pie!

-- Sam Bisbee

>-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Orr [mailto:sluggoster@gmail.com]

>Sent: Wednesday, December 12, 2007 11:44 AM
>To: 'The Answer Gang'
>Subject: [TAG] Photo Budget
>
>---------- Forwarded message ----------
>
>Hello Mike,
>
>How are you? I hope everything has been well for you and Linux
>Gazettein 2007. With the end of the year approaching I would like
>Linux Gazette to consider spending a portion of your remaining budget
>on stock photography from [SITE].
>
>As you may already know [SITE] offers high quality royalty free images
>for as little as $1.  It is the perfect solution for art directors,
>graphic artists, and marketing professionals looking for creative
>royalty free imagery to illustrate such things as magazine ads,
>websites, billboards, flyers, and presentations.
>
>Our images are collected from some of the top photographers and
>artists around the world, actually over 60,000 of them. With this huge
>collection of talent we have built an amazing database of 2.7 million
>royalty free images covering all types of categories, subjects, and
>themes.
>
>Selling "High Quality" images at $1 might sound unbelievable, and
>possibly illegal. But I assure you [SITE] does offer beautiful and
>legal images at prices starting from $1. So check us out today! [SITE]
>
>If you no longer wish to receive these emails, or you wish to update
>your profile, please click here.
>
>--- End forward ---
>
>How did I get a profile when I've never been to [SITE]?  But more
>importantly, this is a great idea!  Let's spend LG's entire graphics
>budget and come up with a spiffy new look!!!  Beautiful artwork from
>world-renowned artists would really increase our circulation.  The LG
>accountant tells me our graphics budget is $0, which should just be
>enough.
>
>-- 
>Mike Orr <sluggoster@gmail.com>
>
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>readers by publishing the exchange in our monthly Web magazine:
>              Linux Gazette (https://linuxgazette.net/)
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>


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Ben Okopnik [ben at linuxgazette.net]


Sun, 16 Dec 2007 22:43:57 -0500

On Wed, Dec 12, 2007 at 06:14:56PM +0000, Samuel Bisbee-vonKaufmann wrote:

> If we are going to go ahead with this, then we are going to do it the
> Right Way. I propose the following allocation of the budget (*hands
> out pie charts*):
> 
> Staff: 20%
> Marketing of new look: 40%
> New look (their prices are so good!): 30%
> Emergency/X-factor: 10%
> 
> It must be made clear that this cannot take away from the time of the
> editorial staff. Publishing quality content is of the most importance.
> 
> Scripts will need to be rewritten. Sorry coders, but there just isn't
> enough room in the budget; look at the pie!

Stuff and nonsense! Due to our forward-looking initiatives, our transitively-metabasic financial operational procedures [1], and our sophisticated implementations of hand-waving protocols, we have managed to allocate 100% - no, 117.368% [2] of the total budget - to each of our departments. All department heads, please note that your bank accounts have been increased by that precise amount already.

Also, I've written a sophisticated financial calculator for all LG related transactions. It looks kinda like this:

 -----------------------
|                       |
 -----------------------
|    ...    |     |     |
|   / _ \   |  +  |  -  |
|  | | | |  |     |     |
|  | |_| |  |  *  |  =  |
|   \___/   |     |     |
|                       |
 -----------------------
It's very reassuring, since its answers always correspond to my estimates...

[1] As the Russian saying goes, "pouring from the empty into the hollow."

[2] Nobody trusts round numbers, especially in statistics. This one is clearly a product of strenuous research [3].

[3] Or a diseased mind, but that's a vanishingly small probability - somewhere around 0.0000056287%.

-- 
* Ben Okopnik * Editor-in-Chief, Linux Gazette * https://LinuxGazette.NET *

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